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Friday, 17 March 2017

Feeling proud!

Today I thought I would write a post about feeling proud of yourself, even if the thing you have achieved seem like nothing to other people, but a big thing to yourself, you should take the time to praise yourself, pat yourself on the back and feel good about it.

For me this week, I did something a few years ago I would have found really hard/near impossible ... I stayed on my own for a whole week! Now I know some people reading this will think that it's no big deal, and that people live on their own all the time, but to me it is a massive step!

A big part of my anxiety means I hate, and I mean hate being alone, whenever J as been away for even a night in the past I have absolutely hated it, I have had panic attacks, been hysterical and just generally not felt well because of it. Why? I don't really know, part of me just feels completely anxious when I am alone, I think the worst things are going to happen, I feel scared, I feel alone and my own thoughts kind of consume me.

J started a new job this week which meant his first week he had to travel to Scotland for the week to do training. When he first told me this I felt sick, I started to panic and tried to think of arrangements for me to stay with someone. But then I calmed down and thought about how far I have come in the last few years, how much stronger I am now and I thought you know what? I can do this! And I did!! Today j is back and I have been by myself the whole week, and you know what? It's been absolutely fine! I mean there have been nights I have lay in bed upset cause I miss him and times when I felt a bit anxious because I thought I heard sounds at night but overall it's been fine and I feel so bloody proud of myself!

So today I am celebrating, I am praising myself and feeling good because I did it, and I am strong and can do anything if I put my mind to it!

Happy Friday!! :)